Initial Reactions to "The End"

I think this was the episode where I cried the most.

SPOILER ALERT!

Every time someone remembered their time on the Island, I cried. Every time. Every single freaking time.

I'm surprised I didn't cry when Kate and Jack kissed and said "I love you" to each other. Oh, I guess it was because I was hooting! Did I tell y'all I'm a Jater?

At least, I was right about the last image of the show, even though I never told my theory to anyone: the last person we saw was Jack, the last shot his eye closing, in a reverse of the first moments of the series. I was surprised to see Vincent appear and lie beside Jack, but I think it made the final scene better. By the time Jack reached the bamboo field, I figured out that I was right. It was a beautiful end. (By the way, Matthew Fox says he knew about the show ending with Jack's eye closing too!)

And, oh, I was so happy that Juliet was David's mother in the sideways timeline. I have always believed that it was Juliet because it made total sense, even thought I didn't quite know what it was.

How about that sideways timeline, eh? A purgatory of sorts for the castaways after they eventually died? Wow. I did NOT see that coming. I haven't quite grasped it, but I think I'm starting to get it. I personally don't believe in a purgatory, but I get why they used the idea for the sideways timeline.

Overall, it was an amazing series finale. I can't think about the answers the last episode gave us - other than the ones I mentioned above - yet. I need a bit of time to rewatch the episode - without crying - and to think about it.

But it was still the best series finale I have ever seen!

I'd like to thank J. J. Abrams, Damon Lindelof, Carlton Cuse, Edward Kitsis, Adam Horowitz, Elizabeth Sarnoff, the rest of the writers, Jack Bender, Jean Higgins, all the actors who appeared on the show (the main and guest cast), the crew members, and every single person who worked on The Best TV Show Ever. You all have made my life better by bringing LOST to the world. You made me laugh, cry, angry, and frustrated, but you also made me fall in love with the characters you created. You also gave me new friends. YOu also taught me a lot about writing. Thank you for the amazing journey and for bringing the series to a satisfying close. I love all of you!

Pennette Has A Better Love Life Than I Do

Last night, I was looking for games on the iTunes Apps Store. I found Virtual Families, a sim game where I adopt a person - I chose Pennette, 27 and a rookie magazine editor - and I control her life, from finding a mate and encouraging her to work to giving her children and helping her house renovations.

I found Beamer, 25 and a rookie board game designer, for Pennette. He seems to be good for her; he cooks for her, and he has a happier disposition than Pennette. She seems to be depressive - like me. I thought it's only because she was lonely, so I found her a husband. I did and she was happy for a few minutes, then she's depressed again. I keep encouraging them to mate, but they fight about having kids. (Beamer's profile says he definitely wants to have children and Pennette's says it would be nice to have children, so I don't know why they fight about it.)

Anyway, Pennette works from home, but Beamer doesn't seem to work although he earns money. Maybe those are royalty payments?

The game has crashed once, but restarting my iPod Touch seems to work. Let's hope it doesn't crash anymore.

Let's also hope Pennette and Beamer agree to have children soon. Hehehe...

P.S. Wouldn't this make a good short story? Hehehe...

All The Single Ladies...

Oh, crap. Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) is stuck in my head again.

Quiz: What Type of Single Gal Are You? My result: Happy Medium You definitely see the good (and bad) in both being single and in a relationship. You don’t see being single as a death sentence; sure, you may get lonely at times, but still find joy in your work and when spending time with friends and family. Keep up that positive attitude!

Take this quiz!

Am I Happy Being Single?

You Love Being Single

In general, you're very happy being single. You like doing your own thing, and you're happy not to have to compromise. You're not opposed to being attached, but you're not going to settle. Someone else should your enhance your life, and you're happy to wait for that person.

Do You Hate to Be Single?

Now, join me as I sing "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)" by Beyonce. *Wink wink*

One more thing: quiz creators need to proofread their work. Seriously.

Showbiz Woes

So, it's official: Jon & Kate Gosselin, stars of TLC's Jon & Kate Plus 8, are divorcing.

Frankly, I saw it coming. The way their lives and marital issues were portrayed in the media, particularly the tabloids and gossip blogs, can take a toll on anyone's marriage. Although I don't watch the show, I've seen enough to make me think that this divorce is probably the best way to end the couple's suffering. I guess it was difficult for Jon to have a wife that is more strong-willed than he is, and I guess taking care of eight children has also taken a toll on Kate and it has affected her relationship with her husband. Jon did not help things when he was seen with another woman when it's, I think, "improper" for a father of eight to be out, especially when the woman is not his wife. I do not condone divorce, but if it is the best thing that could happen to everyone involved, then so be it. I only hope TLC ends the show too. Sure, the Gosselins have given the network its highest rating ever, but it was at their family's expense. The parents were obviously suffering (in the season premiere, I think), but TLC was so happy that a lot of people tuned in. They are cashing in while the family is breaking up.

Come to think of it: this is not the first reality show that ruined - or contributed, at the very least, to the ruin of - its stars' relationship. Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey's marriage crumbled within its first two years. About the same thing happened to Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro, as well as Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker. Their marriages may have been doomed from the start, but having cameras around them all the time may have made their respective situations worse for them. This has happened to many other reality show "relationships" and, judging from history, Jon & Kate won't be the last either.

It's just one of the many reasons I do not watch a lot of reality shows. HGTV shows do not count as they are fun and helpful, as are select TLC shows (like What Not To Wear). Gene Simmons Family Jewels is my guilty pleasure, though; I enjoy this show because they are all freaking hilarious. Gene Simmons may be arrogant and may have a God-complex, but he's funny. I also enjoy The Amazing Race, because I like the travelling part of the show. I especially like it when my favourites win at the end (hehe).

In other showbiz news, Perez Hilton claims that Black Eyed Peas' manager, a man named Liborio Molina, assaulted him after this year's MuchMusic Video Awards. Apparently, Perez started the fight when he called will.i.am a derogatory term when the latter confronted the former about the blogger's posts about Fergie. He then claimed that will.i.am hit him. Then his story changed and the manager was revealed to be the one who hit him.

I find two curious things about this event. One, why didn't Perez go directly to the police? Rather, he posted his allegations on Twitter. He also posted a vlog on his site as an answer to will.i.am's video where the Peas member denied he hit Perez. Sure, his tweets alerted the Toronto police. But I don't see why he had to tweet them, instead of reporting what happened to the police. It doesn't make sense to me. Two, why did he call will.i.am a f****t when Perez himself, as a gay man, should be insulted by the term? Now, even GLAAD is upset with him. As of this writing, Perez has not responded to GLAAD.

A question remains: did Perez Hilton instigate this fight for publicity? Hmm... If I were a betting woman, I'd say yes.

Eh. Whatever. I don't pay much attention to them anyway.

Don't Quit!

I was supposed to memorize the "Don't Quit" poem when I was in CAT (Citizen's Army Training, like ROTC) during Grade 10 (high school senior where I come from). Of course, I never did, but they never found out because I was never required to recite it. 

Anyway, part of this poem was featured on the Pastor's Corner today. I realized I need to keep a copy of this poem somewhere. I need it to remind me that I shall never quit - in looking for my first place, for instance. It might be difficult to find the condo for my specific needs, but I will keep looking. Also, I won't quit when my business does not bring me the profit that I'd hope. I also won't quit when it comes to my pathetic love life and LOST. (Hehehehehehe...)

Here's the full poem, courtesy of TheDon'tQuitPoem.com:

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, 

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, 

When the funds are low and the debts are high, 

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, 

When care is pressing you down a bit, 

Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

 

Life is queer with its twists and turns, 

As every one of us sometimes learns, 

And many a failure turns about, 

When he might have won had he stuck it out; 

Don't give up though the pace seems slow-- 

You may succeed with another blow.

 

Often the goal is nearer than, 

It seems to a faint and faltering man, 

Often the struggler has given up, 

When he might have captured the victor's cup, 

And he learned too late when the night slipped down, 

How close he was to the golden crown.

 

Success is failure turned inside out-- 

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt, 

And you never can tell how close you are, 

It may be near when it seems so far, 

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-- 

It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

The website says that the author is unknown, but there's a name at the bottom of the Pastor's Corner sheet: Mr Harry Knowles, Sr (1904 - 1979). Some websites attribute the poem to him. 

Regardless, thanks to whoever wrote the above poem! Your words help us get through difficulties and failures.

My Five-Variable Love Profile

Ah... Two of my friends are getting married on Saturday. So my brain is full of romantic thoughts. What is it about a wedding that makes me think of...? Never mind.

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is high. You find it easy to be devoted and loyal to one person. And in return, you expect the same from who you love. Any sign of straying, and you'll end things. Experience Level: Your experience level is medium. You probably have had a couple significant loves. And you may have even had your heart broken. But you haven't really dated a wide variety of people. Dominance: Your dominance is low. This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced. You know a relationship is not about getting your way. And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom. Cynicism: Your cynicism is medium. You'd like to believe in true and everlasting love... But you've definitely been burned enough to know better. You're still an optimist, but you also are a realist. Independence: Your independence is medium. In relationships, you need both "me time" and "we time". You usually find it easy to be part of a couple. But occasionally you start to feel a little smothered.

The Five Variable Love Test

Natasha Bedingfield: "Single" Woman No More

Whoa, that was quick.

Six months after she got engaged, Natasha Bedingfield was joined with Matthew Robinson during an outdoor ceremony in Malibu, California, People.com reports. According to the article, Natasha wore a white strapless Vera Wang gown with veil. The aisle on which she walked down was decorated with red roses. She had four bridesmaid and one flower girl. The half-hour ceremony took place at the Church Estates vineyards shortly after 5:30 pm PDT.

Best wishes, Natasha! Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Matthew Robinson!

All I Ever Wanted Tops (Canadian) iTunes Album List

Kelly Clarkson's brand-spankin'-new album, All I Ever Wanted, is out today! I've been enjoying the album since last night (I pre-ordered the deluxe version of the album on iTunes). And the physical copy of the deluxe version I pre-ordered from Amazon.ca arrived today too!

It's 21:51 PDT and the album has gone to number ONE!!! On the Canadian iTunes Top Albums list anyway, that is. I'm also proud to say that the deluxe version is number FOUR!!! (Yes, one of The Numbers!)

The US iTunes Top Albums list, on the other hand, has the deluxe version on number ONE, and the regular album on number FOUR!

Congrats, Kelly!!! I hope the physical - and the overall - first-week sales of the album translate to Billboard #1!

My Life Would Definitely Suck Without Kelly Clarkson

Is Kelly Clarkson reading my journal and/or my thoughts?

I just finished downloading Kelly Clarkson's All I Ever Wanted (Deluxe Version) from iTunes. Actually, I'm already on my second run of the entire album. And I love it already!

Despite its stark contrast to My December's moodiness and darkness, I actually like it. Both albums reflect my current thoughts and feelings regarding all aspects of my life. While My December helped me through my lengthy depressive period, I think All I Ever Wanted will be my soundtrack for the next few months. (I don't actually know what's going to happen in spring/summer; it's just a gut feeling.)

My favourite songs so far:

• "My Life Would Suck Without You;"
• "I Do Not Hook Up;"
• "Cry" - I just about wept when I first heard this song;
• "All I Ever Wanted;"
• "If I Can't Have You;"
  
• "Whyyawannabringmedown;"
• "If No One Will Listen;"
  
• "Tip of My Tongue;" and
  
• "Can We Go Back"

Will any of these songs beat "Maybe" as my favourite Kelly Clarkson song of all time?

When Life Starts to Overwhelm You...

... Sometimes, writing/blogging has to take a back seat.

I've had to sort out some things in my life ("career," finances, et cetera). I will start writing again soon. Hopefully over this weekend.

Ciao for now.

Where Are The Single Christian Older Brothers When You Need Them?

I took the Birth Order Compatibility Tool on iVillage, just for fun, while I was listening to the latest Official LOST Audio Podcast (the one the rehashes "Meet Kevin Johnson" a. k. a. episode 408).

First, I chose among being the oldest, being the middle child, being the youngest, and being the only child. Second, I chose among having at least one older brother, having at least one older sister, or having at least one older brother and one older sister. Here's my result:

You’re equally popular with men and women, and people genuinely enjoy your company. Despite the self-doubt that occasionally clouds your mind, you’re loved and respected by family, friends and coworkers. You have an abundance of creativity, more than average drive, and ambition to spare. Sometimes, however, you feel that you have altogether too many interests and hobbies, and you wish you could focus better on just one or two that might lead to a good career. Your best match is an older brother, preferably one who has younger sisters. You like the way he takes charge in romantic situations, and you enjoy teasing and interacting with him. Middleborn guys are also good matches, especially if they have younger sisters. With lastborns, you might have tons of fun, but you’d miss the kind of direction and leadership that you yearn for in a relationship. You have the same birth order as Janet Jackson. Your best celebrity love match is Conan O’Brien.

Ha-ha. Conan O'Brien, eh? (I barely watch his show.)

Anyway, it's probably true. I have been attracted to guys who have younger siblings, especially if they have younger sisters. I like being cared for and protected the way they would care for and protect their little sisters. I like being showered with affection (although not too much, please). I also want a man who would bail me out if I get in trouble (just joking!). I'm used to being the baby - can I help it?

It's probably why the last one didn't work. He was the youngest and a wee bit immature. So I did miss the "kind of direction and leadership" that I "yearn for in a relationship" although it was a non-relationship (it's a long story...).

So where can I find single and Christian men who have younger sisters? (Switzerland? Italy? Spain? Portugal?) Lemme know...

P. S.
I'm not exactly looking, but who knows? (Cue the Natasha Bedingfield song from her sophomore album, N.B./Pocketful of Sunshine. Hehe...)

Like You'll Never See Me Again

I wore my uncomfortable muffin-top trousers today. It's not so uncomfortable this time. Maybe I was just super bloated the first time I wore these pants.

Anyway, my usual bus didn't show up this morning. That sucks, but it was an improvement from last time when two buses didn't show up; I was an hour late for work that day. So I thought I was going to be half an hour late today, which was all right; if my workload is light today, I can leave on the same time because I have enough OT hours to cover for that half-hour. So I just waited for the bus while listening to the Take The Lead soundtrack on my brand-spankin'-new iPod nano.

Speaking of which, I saw this iPod-nano-carrying hottie today. I saw him last on October 10th, and before that, on May 24th (the day after the LOST season-three finale and a few days before my birthday - very important events this year). He looked as hot as ever, making me smile and blush despite the cold and the mild anxiety (I don't want to be late!). Except for the possibility that he's older and/or emotionally unavailable (I've had enough of such men), he totally made my day.

So the SkyTrain ride to work went smoothly. I disembarked and ran down to the bus loop. Imagine my surprise when I looked at the iPod nano clock and discovered that it was barely eight o'clock! I wasn't late! So I got in at my usual time and I can leave at four-thirty. Freakin' brilliant. I don't want to miss this other hottie that I encounter on my way home. But that's another story.

The Best Cure to a Crappy Mood After a Crappy Morning

The craziness at work has died down. Period-end accounting is done and it's time to move on to the third period of the new fiscal year. There's not much to worry about, because I've billed what I could bill. I didn't see my crush last night, but that's all right. I downloaded Alicia Keys's new album on iTunes and I will enjoy all the songs, videos, and podcasts I've download so far in four - FOUR - days when I get my iPod Nano. Last night, I chose my new pair of black trousers to wear to work this morning. And I got to have chocolate last night.

So, today I thought the day was gonna be great. How was I to know that my new pair of pants doesn't fit me as well as it did when I first tried it on?

So, I have a muffin top. Big deal. But it's completely uncomfortable.

Oh, did I mention I didn't get to dry my hair this morning because it took me a little while to button my pants? (I had nothing else to wear!)

Thank God the ride to work wasn't so bad. It was a little cold, but I didn't get frostbitten so I guess it's fine.

When I got in the office, I went through my usual morning routine - freshen up (e.g. pull my hair back), get a hot beverage (chai tea today), sign in to my computer, check my work e-mail, and go on Facebook. Then I went to Yahoo to read some news items (e.g. the terrorist attack in the Philippine Congress, Ellen Pompeo's quiet wedding, etc.). Then I clicked the link to the 2007 Sexiest Man Alive photo gallery by People Magazine. I was praying one of my Hollywood crushes was chosen to be the sexiest man alive.

Then I saw this:



Matthew Paige Damon was the chosen one!

Yay!

So, now I'm feeling better. Still uncomfortable because of the muffin top. But Matt Damon (also Patrick Dempsey and Adrian Grenier) made it all better.

Am I Happy Being Single?

You Are Pretty Happy Being Single

You have a full, fun life. And you definitely don't need love to be content. Of course, being single can get you down a little. Especially when you've been single for a while. But you know how to be patient and wait for the right person. You're life is too good to settle for anything!

Are You Happy Being Single?

Amen! Amen! Amen!

Wanted: Comfort Giver

Comfort Giver BADLY needed!

Preferably a human being. Regularly maintains hygiene. Skin-and-bones-type will not be accepted. Easy and pleasant personality. Emotionally attached persons will not be accepted. Knows Christ. WIP (work-in-progress) with Christ. Perverts will be kicked; they need not apply. Flips are preferred. Rather, Flip men will be preferred.

Apply directly. No cover letter needed. Resumes are optional.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Felice Anno Nuovo!

Re: Behind These Dark Brown Eyes

He wrote his blog on THREE-FIFTEEN in the AFTERNOON of Boxing Day?!

That was clearly before one of the most wonderful nights in my life. What the heck happened to him? Who's this girl?

Shoot. I'm getting paranoid.

Behind These Dark Brown Eyes

I had a very merry Christmas. It actually extended through Boxing Day (day after Christmas or anniversary of the tsunami).

How the heck would I know that it's gonna be sad?

See, he had this blog thing in MSN Space. I visited his profile, curious whether he wrote something about Monday night. Here's what he wrote:

"i'd have to say.. the most crushing part of it all is knowing I'm dispensable.. that more or less, u can be uknowingly playing the role as 'flavor of the week'"

If he was talking about Monday night, when I phoned him "for fun," he's wrong to think that he's only my "flavor of the week" - so wrong! Does he even know what I feel for him? Does he know that I'm scared and thrilled to fall in love with him? Does he even know that I've fallen in love enough for me to need a whole year to get over him if it doesn't work out? Does he even know that I cry because of him? Does he?

I'm not flirting with him. He's the one flirting with me!

But, then again, we haven't talked about anything serious for a long while. I think we're both avoiding a certain subject - for good reasons. So what the heck is he talking about?

If we could only talk about serious stuff... If we could only be courageous enough to talk about this certain subject in a mature way (heck, he even said, we can say anything to each other!)... But I don't think it's the right time.

I'm taking him seriously. If he could only see through the jokes, then he'd know that he's the most special guy to me outside my earthly male family members. If he seriously thought about my name in MSN, then he'd know that he's the reason my name contains "behind these dark brown eyes".

Because, behind these dark brown eyes, with all the smiles and laughter, there's a scared heart. A heart scared of falling deeply in love with him that I'd never be able to get over him.

If I Don't

You know I’ve always kept my heart protected
Spending my life just building up this wall
How could I say no you hit me so unexpectedly
Like you want to prove there’s nothing I can do

I think that maybe I might be in danger
Somehow you read my mind and found me out
I don’t know which emotion’s feelin’ stranger now
‘Cause I’m afraid, but still I’m glad I stayed

I could try to fight it
Just deny it
Avoid the touch
And turn away from you or maybe
Ride it out
But if I like it is that enough
To call it love, to call it love

First of all, I never thought Carlos Santana will collaborate with JC Chasez. I may have wished it, but never in my wildest dreams did I think that it would come true.

Just when I'm reading "Every Young Woman's Battle" (a book to guide me while "guarding [my] mind, heart, and body in a sex-saturated world" which was given to me by my sister on my 22nd birthday), I come across this clip.

The temptation to forget what I just learned is so strong, it's horrible. Guarding my mind has been the biggest problem.

But I will overcome this temptation; ignore it. By God's grace and love, I will overcome this.

Harmonica Boy

Oops!... I did it again!

Why do gorgeous eyes and killer smiles get to me? And why am I always attracted to guys I'm too chicken to talk to?

OK. I first saw this guy one early winter evening. We were waiting for the bus to arrive. I saw him smiling my way. I initially thought that he was smiling at me, but, due to recent events, I now think that he was only smiling my way then. Anyway, I saw him while waiting for the bus a couple of times since that first night. One time, I was reading a title in the Chicken Soup for the Soul series (can't remember if it was Chicken Soup for the Romantic Soul or for the Christian Woman's Soul). I was reading with poor lighting, though I should have known that I could turn the little lamp just above my head on. Just before he got off, I looked up at him and he was smiling, as if he was mocking me. Then I noticed that the little lamp above me was suddenly on.

I didn't see him for the entire Christmas season until February. I first saw him again this year while waiting for the earlier bus. I had a good look at him then: He's Caucasian, tall, and has a not-so-huge-not-so-small built. He has a bit of a stomach, though. He wears a pair of specs and always - and I mean, always - wears a black-and-red toque. Therefore, I had never seen his hair. He always carries a huge Tracker backpack with an off-white hard hat hanging from I-don't-know-what. And from the hard hat, I assumed that he works for a construction company. He actually used to wear a badly torn pair of huge brown shoes; now he wears a darker brown shoes. He also wears badly torn jeans - to the point where I can see his bare - and hairy - thigh. He also has a huge silver timepiece dangling from his jeans. He either reads a book or listens to his CD player while waiting for the bus and while on the bus - like me! And I actually saw him playing harmonica on a Saturday!

I actually can't figure out where he lives. He normally gets off at 180th at 60th. But he also gets off at two different stops, like he did last night, leaving me wondering if he was going to see his girlfriend or fiancee or, worse, boyfriend.

But, on March 11th, he was standing in front of me on the line. His cellphone was strapped to the side of his torn jeans. His cellphone display was in my full view. It said, "hi justin". I assume that he's straight, so I deduced that his name is Justin. Sad to say, I've never had the nerve to talk to him.

Unfortunately, I don't think he's interested in me at all. But just like the JC-Chasez-look-alike from BCIT, Justin a.k.a. Smiley a.k.a. Harmonica Boy is now officially my Ultimate Boytoy. I'm wondering, just like my friend Jon does, when I'm gonna have the guts to talk to him.