Wanted: Comfort Giver

Comfort Giver BADLY needed!

Preferably a human being. Regularly maintains hygiene. Skin-and-bones-type will not be accepted. Easy and pleasant personality. Emotionally attached persons will not be accepted. Knows Christ. WIP (work-in-progress) with Christ. Perverts will be kicked; they need not apply. Flips are preferred. Rather, Flip men will be preferred.

Apply directly. No cover letter needed. Resumes are optional.

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Felice Anno Nuovo!