Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Being a Second Banana Sucks

I'm very thankful that Kelly Clarkson wasn't a member of a hugely popular singing group and that RCA Records has not announced that My December is going to be released later than July 24th, 2007. (Though one can never guarantee that it will never happen.) Because if that's the case, then I will storm or write a very scathing letter to her label and to Sony BMG.

MediaTakeOut.com reported on May 11th, that the release of Kelly Rowland's sophomore solo album, Ms. Kelly, is pushed back from June 26th to July 3rd. That's after Music World Entertainment and Columbia Records did the same thing last year when they changed the release date to June 26th. I thought that it can be just a rumour. Unfortunately, Kelly's own label website confirmed that Ms. Kelly will be released on July 3rd.

In contrast, Beyoncé's sophomore solo album, B'Day, was released shortly after its completion. A few months after its release, Columbia Records released a deluxe edition.

Doesn't Kelly Rowland deserve the same treatment?

She's as talented as Beyoncé, as beautiful as Beyoncé, and as deserving as Beyoncé.

There are actually rumours that Music World (owned by Mathew Knowles) and Columbia Records chose to release B'Day over Ms. Kelly.

And that's not the only thing that's messed up. Not so long ago, FMQB reported that JC Chasez's single "You Ruined Me" is going for radio adds on May 1st. On that day, the song didn't go for radio adds. Instead, FMQB reported that it will be pushed back to May 29th - a full four weeks after the recent change (it has been changed several times before). Also, his sophomore solo album, Kate, still doesn't have a definite release date. Can you say, déjà vu?

JC's debut solo album, Schizophrenic, was pushed back several times until it was released on February 24th, 2004. As far as marketing went, Jive Records tanked. JC's buddy, Dallas Austin, even wore a shirt saying, "Jive Sucks!" - effectively saying what all JC fans thought and talked about in forums, e-groups, etc.

In contrast, if I listened to the radio all day (thank God I don't), I'd get to hear all Justin Timberlake singles from his sophomore solo album, Future Love/Sex Sounds, more than once (an understatement).

I understand the radio and the deejay factors, but JC lacks support from his own record label. Enough support, man, enough support.

I don't dislike Beyoncé as much as I dislike Justin (an understatement); both are talented, yet can be overrated.

On the other hand, Kelly Rowland and JC Chasez are both talented, yet they are underrated.

What's up with this world?

Personally, I tend to avoid superstars and to support the so-called second banana (e.g. Kelly Rowland and JC Chasez). I don't like hyped-up stars. They usually deserve less than they get. Unfortunately, people like Kelly and JC deserve more, much more, than they currently get.

Monday, April 9, 2007

Faith & Depression

I know I haven't written anything here since February 4th.

And to those who actually read my postings and who go to my church, I know I haven't been there since either November or December. I didn't even attend on Easter Sunday.

Anyway I was looking for something to read when I noticed my fiction-writing folder. In there are the pages that I printed off the Internet (not to mention, those I wrote) to help me with my writing. You see, I haven't started chapter four and I was hoping that reading the basics about fiction would help me start that said chapter. When I've read most of it, I closed the folder. On the front cover is a clipping from the Praise & Thanksgiving section of the old church bulletin. It is about faith.

In verbatim:

Don't build your house on a career. Don't build your house on a thrill. Don't build your house on one solitary earthly relationship. Don't pursue things that don't last. Build your house on the only thing that can last: faith.

Do you have faith? If you have faith, then you have what it takes to tackle your problems before they tackle you. If you have that confident hope, then you will know how to handle whatever life brings you.

One thing that no one can take [a]way from you is your faith. This world can and may take everything you have. But no one can take away your faith. Grab that faith, clutch tightly that anchor of the soul.

Make your faith an independent dogged faith, firmly planted in God's sacrificed Son on the hill of Calvary. It can never be taken away from you.

Then the writer quoted this: "Faith rests on the naked Word of God; that Word believed gives full assurance."

The writer also said:

Faith is one of the most precious treasures a man can possibly possess. It is a pity that so few understand what the Bible teaches about it. Faith is often confused with presumption, optimism, determination, superstition, and imagination. Actually, it is simply believing... Obviously faith [honours] God, while doubting His Word must insult and displease Him.

So I thought, "Do I have faith?"

First thing that came to mind was this: If I didn't have faith, am I going to be sitting on the computer and writing this?

You see, I've always been depressive. Every time my parents punished me, or every time someone said something negative and/or untrue about me, I would clam up, cry, and wish I were dead. I've never been one to defend myself, because when I do try to defend myself, I turn violent. It's just the way I wired; I'm either one extreme or the the other extreme. During those dark moments, I would imagine how I would die and make those who have hurt me regret what they did to me. It's either a long and terminal illness (such as leukemia or brain tumour) or a brutal death. I would feel very unworthy, unloved, and utterly lonely. I would cry or get angry for no major reason. Just recently, my sleeping patterns got messed up; either I can't sleep or I sleep too much. I've also been very tired and I've noticed that I'm having more "senior moments" or "blonde moments". Also, I used to know exactly what I want; now I'm more indecisive than ever. (Case in point, I'm two months away from my scheduled time-off, yet I haven't decided what to do or where to go!)

Then one day, I was browsing through Canada.com while waiting on the system at work. I read this article about depression. The writer listed the signs of depression and - guess what - I recognised seven of the eleven signs given. Unfortunately, I didn't go to a psychologist to confirm my hunch. Apart from being a procrastinator, I was a bit scared.

So during those dark months - that dark period which was accompanied by that horrible winter - I stayed home on the weekends unless it was absolutely necessary. I slept at three or four in the morning, and woke up ten to twelve hours after. Sometimes I wrote, other times I just read, and for the most part, I just lay on my bed until I was called to dinner. Unfortunately, this has become a habit. Consequently I haven't woken up in time for church.

It's not that I wanted to ditch Christianity - not at all. As a matter of fact, my prayer life grew during that period of depression. I've also set aside a portion of the day - usually, the moment I get settled on the morning bus - to read God's Word and pray, to spend time with him. I've also been trying to serve people and the community in small ways. The fellowship part of being a Christian is the one that badly suffered.

Are the people at my church so bad that my fellowship with them suffered? Not really. Sure, there are a couple of people that I can't stand, but I know that we're all "bad" because we're all sinners. Is my pastor so dull or so offensive that I don't want to hear him preach? No, not at all.

So why did I let fellowship with FIC-based Christians suffer?

This might seem petty or unreasonable, but there's a guy I need to get over. I need to get away from him - or as one article said, "sever ties with him" - for as long as I can. It's just the way I was wired. Also, life has dealt my little clique a few changes and I feel like I don't belong there anymore. It's not easy being in your early twenties and single - I just decided that I will kiss dating goodbye for another year - when your friends are either dating, getting married, having babies, or any combination of the previous. I do like hanging out with people who are older than me but I feel my loneliness most acutely when they pair off and I'm left by myself.

Obviously this all boils down to my loneliness. I am lonely. Unlike other young women, I don't date around or sleep around because I'm lonely. Unlike my mother, I don't escape to where my brother is when I feel unworthy and unloved. I get depressed and withdraw from those who should, would, and could help me.

As you might have anticipated, this feeling of loneliness and unworthiness can lead to being more vulnerable to Satan's lies. When that did happen, I found myself fishing for an old sin in the sea where God put a sign, "No fishing allowed." And then I always ask God to forgive me. But I am tired of it - tired of going back to my old sinful ways when I know I've been redeemed by Jesus Christ's blood.

It's not that I don't know that God loves me. I know he does. I know he created me, breathed life into me, and planned my days. I know he has a plan for me. The question is, what? Is this dark period going to help me become a better Christian, one who's more ready to hear what God will reveal to her? And how am I going to overcome this darkness?

That said, has my depression taken away my faith, that confident hope? Have Satan's lies replaced the Truth?

I think not. With the help of my Heavenly Father, the Son who died on the cross for me, and the Holy Spirit that God sent to be my helper, I will overcome this darkness. And maybe in the next few weeks, you'll see me at church.

Sunday, February 4, 2007

Save UPIS

SAVE UPIS

To all UP Integrated School alumni.

Don't you miss high school?

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Homeboy - May 29 - Part 3


Boy bands - Filipino style.

Hehe. I already left when Anime was formed so I don't really care about them. JCS too. But Koolits? And Hunks? Dang!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Lost fans to finally get answers

By Erin Carlson, AP

Published: Wednesday, October 04, 2006


Those Lost writer-producers are a secretive bunch. How difficult could it be to give a hint about to expect next season? Apparently, very. A little digging, however, turned up some clues on the gripping drama (tonight on CTV).

WHO ARE THE OTHERS?
They're creepy, wear fake beards and have captured Kate, Jack and Sawyer. Are they "the good guys," as one high-ranking Other said, or are they up to no good? Finally — finally! — that enigma will be addressed this season, producers have teased. They better deliver. Also, expect to see much more of bug-eyed Other/hatch escapee Henry Gale, played by new series regular Michael Emerson.

WHO WILL KATE FALL FOR?
It's about time, Kate. The freckled tough girl (Evangeline Lilly) will finally make a choice between doctor-leader Jack (Matthew Fox) and con man Sawyer (Josh Holloway). Early intel suggests Cupid's arrow is pointing at a Kate-Sawyer hookup — they ARE a couple of good-lookin' outlaws. Why that coupling? According to an ABC press release, "Romance looms on the horizon as Jack's interests veer towards a mysterious woman, whose motives may be questionable."

WHY WAS LOCKE IN A WHEELCHAIR?
John Locke (Terry O'Quinn) lost of a bit of his faith last season, thanks to his frustration with entering that numbered sequence (4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42) on the keyboard every 108 minutes. Still, he can't deny the island's mysterious healing powers, which apparently cured his four-year paralysis and allowed him to walk again after Oceanic flight 815 crash-landed. Those powers — and why exactly Locke was bound to a wheelchair in the first place — will be explored this season, Lost experts say. One theory: Locke, who helped his deadbeat father withdraw stolen money from a bank, was handicapped by angry victims of the crime.

WHO IS THE FATHER OF SUN'S UNBORN BABY?
Pre-crash, a doctor said Sun's loving husband, Jin (Daniel Dae Kim), was infertile. There are three possible explanations for Sun's pregnancy: The island healed Jin's infertility (worked for Locke, leg-wise); the zygote formed inside Sun (YunJin Kim) but is neither hers nor Jin's (creepy!); or Jin is not the baby-daddy. That guy could be Jae Lee, who gave Sun secret English lessons. She was unhappy in her marriage, and planned to leave Jin and go to America.

WHAT HAPPENED AT THE HATCH?
In the season 2 finale, Locke, Mr. Eko (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) and Desmond (Henry Ian Cusick) were all in the hatch when Desmond turned the fail-safe key to diffuse whatever electromagnetic energy was quaking the island (yes, that button-pushing chore actually meant something). An explosion ensued. The hatch door landed on the beach. Survival seems like a long shot — but Eko and Locke are under contract. And Cusick is now a series regular. They gotta come out of this alive, if not somewhat — somehow — changed. Plus, ABC says Locke will team up with Sayid (Naveen Andrews) and others to try and rescue their comrades.

DID MICHAEL AND WALT ESCAPE?
The father-son duo, given a motor boat by Henry Gale, were last seen fleeing the island to destinations unknown. Desperate dad Michael (Harold Perrineau) betrayed his friends to save himself and his son, Walt (Malcolm David Kelley), who was kidnapped at the end of the first season by the Others. But don't be surprised if they return — those Lost-ies aren't the luckiest group. Note that Perrineau is not a regular cast member this season, but could be back as a guest star. And Walt is way too intriguing to make a permanent getaway.

WHAT IS DHARMA DOING WITH THE KIDS?
The Others snatched Walt, Frenchwoman Rousseau's daughter, Alex, and a very pregnant Claire (Emilie de Ravin). In memories of her abduction, Claire was taken to a hospital-like hatch and given a shot in the belly. A teen girl, who might be a grown-up Alex, warned her that higher-ups planned to kill her and take her baby. That's pretty freaky, and so is another theory: That the Others — those "good guys," remember? — are a social utopian experiment by the scientist-led Dharma Initiative. This could explain why they steal innocent children who haven't been tainted by society.

WHO IS LIBBY?
Michael shot and killed her last season, but viewers haven't seen the last of Libby (Cynthia Watros). She'll keep appearing in characters' flashbacks, producers said, yet her back story — she claimed to be a clinical psychologist and was supposedly among the plane's tail-section survivors — is shrouded in mystery. In flashbacks, it was revealed that she lived in the same mental hospital as an unknowing Hurley (Jorge Garcia) and gave Desmond her late husband's doomed sailboat. Fan speculation has it that she might be a member of the Hanso Foundation, which funded the shady Dharma Initiative, or a private detective.

IS CLAIRE JACK'S HALF-SISTER?
That's the buzz — and it appears to be so. After losing his medical license for operating while drunk, Christian (Jack's surgeon-father, played by John Terry) fled to Australia, where he drank himself to death after attempting to visit his secret daughter. It went down like this: He showed up at the house of a curly-haired, blonde Aussie — Claire's lookalike mother? — and boozily demanded to see the girl. The woman refused. Jack arrived Down Under to bring Christian's body back to the U.S. and, in a made-for-television twist, wound up on the same ill-fated flight as Claire.

CAN THE SHOW KEEP IT UP?
As many fans complain, Lost is more about the questions than the answers. It's confusing and captivating. At least some things were (sorta) cleared up in the finale of the dark and hatch-centric second season, which runneth over with sci-fi mysteries that had viewers scratching their heads. Thankfully, the Powers That Be heard the fan feedback — and they're doing something about it. In a recent podcast posted on the show's Web site, a producer revealed he was influenced by complaints that season 2 was "too mythologically dense." Expect to see a lot about relationships in future episodes, including a dose of much-needed romance.

© Associated Press 2006

Tuesday, October 3, 2006

Finding Lost: The Unofficial Guide gives fans roadmap to hit TV show

Maybe I should buy this one? I'm already a hardcore fan of Lost, but some plots can drive me nuts. I might also learn more. Hehe.

If I buy this one, my mother will kill me. Hehehehehe.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

An Almost Perfect Job

The way God answers prayers is amazing.

Back in 1 January 2005, I wrote about hating my first job. I also enumerated what I thought the “perfect” job for me is. Let me remind you of them.

  • accounting-related

  • closer to home

  • employers and colleagues as nice as the ones I currently deal with everyday

  • accessible by bus and/or SkyTrain

  • my own office space

  • eligible bachelors

Last week – my first week in my new job – I remembered that I wrote about my “criteria” and posted them on this blog. So, do I have the “perfect” job based on these criteria?

  • Accounting-related: Yes, it is! Actually I wouldn’t have been let go by my previous employer if it weren’t an accounting job. The position is Accounts Receivable Clerk. At the moment, I’m learning how to do the billings. As of Friday, I’ve finished four logging invoices and several manual cadet camp invoices.

  • Closer to home: Yes, it is! I’m now working in Burnaby; actually, it’s very near the boundary of Vancouver and Burnaby. At least I only have to buy two-zone bus passes.

  • Employers and colleagues as nice as the ones I [previously dealt] with everyday: Yeah. It was my first week, so everybody was so nice and welcoming. I hope it continues. Let’s see.

  • Accessible by bus and/or SkyTrain: Yeah. It’s like when I was going to BCIT. I take a bus to King George Station, then take the SkyTrain and get off at Metrotown Station. Then I take a bus and get off. It’s only a very short walk from the bus stop to the office.

  • My own office space: Oh yeah! I have my own workspace. And I have my own printer. Hehe.

  • Eligible bachelors: Hmmm. There’s a guy. He’s Punjabi. He also graduated from BCIT; actually I think we were on the same batch. Thing is, he looks ridiculously like the guy I’m trying to get over. Not only that: the timbre of his voice resembles the other guy’s. And, since he’s Punjabi, he most likely does not love the God that I love. So he’s just gonna be an eye-candy. I’m such a bad girl!

I hope I can learn everything that I need to learn, because I really want to keep this job. This almost perfect job.